How to (Unknowingly) Acquire Your Very Own Followers
by Jazebeth
Summary: AU. The first thing Reborn wanted to do after coming back home was to hand his mission report – and sleep, not to see robed strangers circling Tsuna around his bed in the middle of the night and worshiping him. Apparently, he missed a lot of things. (Or that one time they found out Tsuna's Hyper Intuition were stronger when he was sleeping). TYL!Characters, Adult!Arcobaleno. Crack.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary** : The first thing Reborn wanted to do after coming back home was to hand his mission report – and sleep, not to see robed strangers circling Tsuna on his bed in the middle of the night and worshiping him. Apparently, he missed a lot of things. (Or that one time they found out Tsuna's Hyper Intuition were stronger when he was sleeping).

 **Warning** : Dialog heavy and attempted humor.

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer**_ : Katekyo Hitman Reborn! and all of its characters belong to Amano Akira.

* * *

There's nothing he wanted to do other than give his reports and sleep. He was tired, the last few months of his mission finally taking its toll on him. He considered sleeping in the day after, but with his arrival, he knew that his boss wanted his report first and foremost.

Reborn groaned, he wanted his sleep now.

As he arrived in front of his student's room, Reborn considered knocking (since it was midnight, the brunet was probably asleep). But decided against it and barged into the room like he owned it.

A dozen or so head snapped their attention to him at the rude entrance, and the sight that greeted him was what ultimately stopped Reborn from stomping into the room and kick Tsuna off of his bed.

A second passed, and then:

Reborn's exhaustion were wiped off of his face, and without wasting a moment, drew his gun and aimed it at the one closest to Tsuna – who was currently holding his student's hand in death grip. Why his guardians weren't in the room amazed him, considering there was a dozen or so people wearing a dark cloak – that suspiciously looked like something his fellow mist Arcobaleno wore –surrounding their boss.

He still couldn't comprehend why Tsuna wasn't even stirring in his sleep.

"Tell me one reason to not blow your head right here and I want any of you to start speaking. _Now."_

The threat was clear, yet none of the cloaked figures spoke.

Reborn cocked his gun.

"W-wait, Reborn-san! It's me!" One of the cloacked figure slid the hood off. Revealing a mop of silver hair.

"What the fuck are you doing with these weirdoes, Gokudera?"

"We will tell you! But, please, lower the gun..."

Reborn raised his eyebrow.

"The gun isn't going anywhere unless any of you start speaking. Actually, take off all of your hoods now,"

There was no resistance as one by one slowly slid their hood. It takes a lot of effort to not shot them out of spite; because Reborn recognized every _one_ in the room. Some of the former Arcobaleno were there, too.

"What the are you thinking gathering here like a fucking cult?" Reborn lowered his gun seeing that Tsuna wasn't in real danger.

Why was Tsuna still sleeping, anyway? Did his danger trigger dulled so bad he let a group of suspicious people enter his bedroom without detection?

"Language, Reborn. Besides we're not a cult. I'm here to confirm whether the rumours where true."

"I never thought I would heard that from you, Verde. Going out of your hole just for rumours?"

"But it is interesting, you see..."

* * *

By the time they finished explaining, Reborn was leveling a harsh glare to the gathered party consisting of Gokudera, Chrome, Verde, Mammon, Fon, Irie, Spanner, Fuuta, Squalo – how did he kept quiet all this time? –, and surprisingly, Jager.

How the man escaped his attention was beyond Reborn, but he blamed his sleep deprivation for his lack of foresight. He was going to ask what the second-in-command Vindice officer was doing here, but figured it wasn't worth his effort.

Some things are better left alone.

"So, let me get this straight. One day you decided to keep listening to whatever he was mumbling, _in his sleep,_ and decided to believe it happens?" They were sitting in a half circle now, with the ever skeptic Reborn silently questioning their common sense.

There was a collective groan. "But it happened! He was the first one to find out Lal's pregnant! Everything he said has come true so far!" Was the passionate reply he got from Gokudera.

Reborn paused. "She's pregnant? When did that happened?"

"Two months ago," Was the automatic response he received from his colleagues. _Fuck._ What were they doing here – in his student's room, no less – whispering furiously like a group of gossiping housewives?

How did he missed something as crucial as Lal's apparent motherhood?

When did he get exempted from such informations?!

"That still doesn't dictate that he could predict the future. Are you even listening to what you're saying? You sound like an overly obsessed cult. What's with the robes anyway?"

"Do you want to wake up to a dozen pair of eyes staring at you?"

"Well, no. That's just fucking creepy."

"Exactly. We wear it just in case he wakes up in the middle of our session."

"That's even creepier."

There was a collective hum of agreement from the gathered crowd.

"Well... now that I thought about it, he never woke up..." Gokudera muttered.

"Nor does he remember any of it ever happening, do you reckon he's just sleep talking?"

"But he's always coherent about it, especially if we're being specific. I doubt it's just a normal occurance." Irie offered with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Reborn raised an unimpressed eyebrow towards Mammon, who was being uncharacteristicaly silent. Out of all people gathered in the room, he was the only one who hasn't uttered a single word about the situation.

Reborn wasn't sure if it's a good thing.

"Well, Mammon? What do you have to say for yourself?"

Mammon waited until the hushed murmur died down before speaking; "He certainly make a good profit." then refused to say anymore even with the threat of a gun pointed directly on his forehead.

"You're... using my student... as a source of income, how?"

There was a snicker somewhere to his right, and Reborn belately recognized Yamamoto's sharp feature in the dimly lit room.

"You know that Italians takes pride with their Football team, or any sport, for that matter." Verde informed him with a flat tone.

"By the end of the first month – since we found out about Tsuna's talent, by the way –, Mammon had a whole interweb network of underground betting ring set up. Crazy how fast he worked, huh?"

Okay, he didn't think it went _like this_ , but what the fuck?

"And Tsuna doesn't know this?"

"Nope!"

Reborn repressed the urge to facepalm because, none of this make any sense! And the longer he listened to them, the harder it is to believe their... claim. "I don't understand why I should believe what _any_ of you are saying. As far as I know, this is just some elaborate trap set by dearest student of mine to get back at me for ruining his shampoo."

Silence, then; "Mother of God, that was _you_?"

Shocked gasps filled the room as they proceed Reborn's confession.

It was just a childish prank on Reborn's part, having changed the content of the shampoo bottle with blonde hair dye – mixed with too much conditioner to mask the smell. Tsuna did not suspect a thing – it takes at least fifteen minutes for the color to settle, and another hour for it to have a significant difference, and by that time, Tsuna was deep into an important meeting with their oldest allies to realize why most of them had passed out in the middle of their meeting.

The result wasn't pretty, because one of the allied boss had to be admitted to the mental hospital continuously mumbling: ' _Primo'_ , and ' _God save us'._ Apparently, he believed in supernatural and convienced himself that Primo had came back from the dead to pay retribution.

"What? You don't know?"

Most of them shook their head. "We never found out the culprit and Tsuna never told us anything."

Okay, so they didn't know and Reborn voulentarily told them himself. Great.

"Wait, you're telling _me_ that this isn't a joke?"

General nods.

Okay, _fuck_ , Reborn needed his vacation now, preferably somewhere far, _far,_ away from Italy.

Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

"Guys, as much as I like to discuss Reborn's prank, don't you think this is an innapropriate place to do this?"

Ah, Dino, the voice of reason– Wait, what is he doing here? Actually, he didn't want to know.

They ignored Reborn's momentary lapse of attention and stared back at the sleeping brunet. He hadn't even stirred in his sleep. _T_ _hat was good_. Thought every cultist in the room. Because Reborn found Tsuna's ability to sleep like the dead a bit unnerving, (if it was him he would have shot every one of them as soon as they stepped into his bedroom) he doesn't want to find out how Tsuna hasn't moved a single muscle yet.

"Don't you think it's a little late for that?" Chrome muttered quietly.

The gathered cultist – Reborn does _not_ want to be associated with them, no, not at all – continued their discussion as Reborn backed away from them silently, he had decided right then that he'd noped out of that bedroom before any of them noticed his absence.

Cult was never his cup of tea. Especially one that focuses around his no-good student.

He'll let Tsuna take care of his own problem himself, thank you very much.

* * *

(By the time Reborn regretted not dealing with the problem himself, it was too late. Because Tsuna – his wonderful, oblivious student – never realized the growing numbers of his worshipers had spread all over Italy, and took it upon themselves to send him _tons_ of gifts into the Vongola HQ.)

(He wanted to ask why they even bother to shower him with gifts, since Tsuna could practically obtain anything he wanted– never mind, that might be the point.)

(Tsuna thought of this as a good thing, because the crime rate had dropped considerably over the year. He still doesn't know how it happened, but then again, Tsuna never asked.)

(And by the time his foreseeing ability had gained him _more_ worshipers from around the world – Mammon and his vast deep web connection were to blame for that –, Tsuna was – unknowingly – powerful enough to eradicate any illegal activities around the world three times over.)

(Tsuna remained oblivious to the growing Cult.)

(Reborn made his own prediction that several centuries later, Tsuna will be seen as a deity.)

(He wasn't wrong.)

* * *

 **AN:** (This is my very first time trying to write something distinctively humor - though I prefer parody more - so tell me what you think, if you have time. I really appreciate every one of you for reading this.)

 _ **EDIT:**_ Monday, October 9th 2017.

Fixed some minor mistakes and added a little detail in the story.

 _ **Edit:**_ Thursday November 16th 2017.

(Reduced the amount of cursing courtesy of Reborn)

I would probably, **probably** (like 1 out of 1000 chances) make a side story for this. I'm not promising you guys anything, nor if it'll be fast if I indeed write a side story. For all we know I could have updated this a year later.

(you guys are really cool you know that? Cookies for everyone who reviewed! YAY. FREE COOKIES)


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer:**_ Katekyo Hitman Reborn! and all of its character belong to _Amano Akira_. The author of this work claim no ownership over the characters and settings associated with _Katekyo Hitman Reborn!_ _._ The material found on through this work is not intended to infringe upon copyright, and the aforementioned titles are the sole legal property of their respective Copyright Holders.

* * *

It didn't take long for Reborn to figure out that there's a new order of hierarchy amidst the Vongola Famiglia.

The way they walk with a small bounce that seemed too childish for mafioso, the way they would stare at Tsuna with awe and – dare he say it – pure, unrestrained adoration, or the fact that the Mansion was a lot livelier than usual with men and women swarming all over the place.

(How they seemed give an unhealthy amount of respect to the people he found suspiciously huddled inside Tsuna's bedroom with hooded cloaks.)

It was as if he had walked into a convention. And of course; Tsuna was at the epicenter of it.

The best part was, Tsuna had _no_ idea. He had no idea that ninety-nine percent of the Family was basically groveling on each step he made around the mansion, he had no idea that they subconsciously always try to get his attention on every single thing they do, even walking on the same hallway three times just so they could see Tsuna.

It was both amusing and frightening at the same time how _this_ had affected every one of them.

Well, maybe except Reborn.

He had had his suspicion since the night he found a group of cultist inside Tsuna's bedroom, obsessively circling around the Tenth's bed and arguing with each other over... whatever they were doing. At that time, he was too tired to deal with whatever mess they made since his departure seven months ago to bother with it. But now, after a full day of rest and delicious cup of espresso, Reborn had regained his bearing.

He needed to figure out what the hell was happening with Vongola Famiglia. If what he had witnessed last night was any indicator, then he would gladly uproot the problems and sort it himself. Whether or not these people are guilty, he'd see it to himself; to deliver some sort of punishment to these people regardless of their innocence.

(Reborn tried to ignore the fact that he's doing the dirty work without Tsuna's knowledge.)

( _You better be grateful for this, Tsuna._ He thought bitterly.)

Honestly, who the hell uses their own _boss;_ the head of the strongest, richest, largest _godamned Mafia_ Family in Italy as... as... some sort of humanoid version of prophecy orb?! Vongola Family, apparently.

Better yet, said prophecy orb had no idea what his subordinates were doing with him behind his back. It was kind of frightening that they used it against Tsuna in the first place. And boy does it pisses Reborn off to see his student so _clueless_ to the situation he had involuntarily landed himself into.

And thus, with a new goal in mind on his self-appointed mission, Reborn began to gather _evidence_.

Reborn belatedly realize that, no matter how brilliant they are, they forgot that Tsuna wasn't the only one who could see into the future. And if he recalled, there was at least _three_ or more generation of Seer in Giglio Nero Family. Sephira, Luce, Aria, and now Yuni all had a gift to see into the future. But did the member of their Family abused that power to their own gain, much less profit? No!

Now he had started to see why Tsuna wanted to change Vongola.

* * *

"This is a _disaster_ , I don't know what else to say to you, but in case you didn't get the memo; Reborn is going to kill us!" Gokudera hissed hotly to the cloaked figure. He had gotten wind on how _Pissed –_ with a capital P – Reborn looked like, and the series of unrelenting question to their subordinates did not soothe his nerves at all.

Reborn wasn't joking when he said he'd get to the bottom of this.

 _This_ , being their involvement to an alleged Cult.

"Oh my _God_ , Gokudera. Calm the hell down! Reborn might be just curios, that's all!" Lambo huffed, irritation clear in his eyes as he watched Gokudera fret over their impending doom.

"How can you say that?! You weren't there to see his face when he found us! _He_ pointed his gun at me, Lambo, no doubt going for fucking head-shot!"

Lambo stared at him. "You know that harming any of us would warrant Tsuna's wrath, don't you? And if I remember correctly; the last person who did that is currently on the depths of Vindicare prison." He deadpanned.

By now, there was an unsettling silence following Lambo's declaration before an awkward cough interrupted.

"Ah, uh, you know what, maybe Verde and I should, uh, just go, yeah?" Dino interrupted, eyes glancing at every corner of the dark room they called Headquarters, no doubt paranoid about Reborn randomly popping out into existence with a shout _'surprise, motherfucker!'_ before shooting them.

Verde, who hadn't spoken a word after Gokudera's outburst, scoffed. "I'm not setting a foot away from this and that's final."

Dino directed a betrayed look at the mad scientist.

"Gokudera's right, we should cease our operation for this week and keep our heads down. At least until Reborn warms up to the idea of being a follower." Mammon declared calmly.

"What makes you think that Reborn, of all people, would be willing to be a follower?" Jager inquired.

A small smirk appeared on Mammon's face, no doubt planning various scenario to bring Reborn into their fold. "If we could convince _Verde,_ I don't doubt we could do the same for Reborn. Being a non-believer is going to be a pain for him."

* * *

"Tsuna." Reborn greeted casually, leaning most of his weight on the wall beside Tsuna's desk.

"Yeah? What is it?" He asked, not bothering to look up from the report on his hand.

Reborn considered his questions for a moment, trying to make sure that it wouldn't bring suspicion towards his real intention. Of course, he needed to be careful, so that Tsuna's famous – and what he meant was; too _famous_ – Hyper Intuition wouldn't pick it up.

"Hypothetically speaking, what do you think about Yuni's gift? And if you have it, what would you do with it?"

Tsuna hummed thoughtfully, resting the pen he was using on the table. "Well, I think it's a useful gift, not only it will give us an advantage, it will make it easier to detect any attack to our Family." He said with a small smile. "Maybe that's also why no one dare to make an enemy out of Giglio Nero."

Reborn had to smile at that, Tsuna always put the well being of their Family members first before everyone else (except his family). He had taken the role of their protector seriously, too seriously sometimes.

"What brought this on, Reborn?"

 _Damn, he's good._ Reborn almost scowled at the knowing smirk on Tsuna's face.

Thinking of a quick, half-truth – because, honestly, he couldn't risk his self appointed mission before it even began – Reborn told him. "Nothing, I just noticed the way your subordinates are looking at you. They looked like they'd seen a deity." He deadpanned, just to make it seem like the very thought of Tsuna as a deity was so far fetched in his wildest dream that he didn't have any appropriate emotion to display.

Surprisingly, Tsuna burst out laughing.

"Are you talking about that time they made me wear a toga and pretend to be Apollo?" Tsuna wiped the tears that was starting to gather at the corner of his eyes.

"What are you talking about?" An image of _Tsuna_ dressed in a toga appeared on his mind, with a glittering golden wreath adorning his head, wearing two golden bracelet on each wrist. Bestowing wisdom to the people he met, muttering something about ' _Thou shalt not be a Mafia Boss'_ with sincere conviction.

Reborn shuddered.

"Well, last month, there was a charity event held by the Cathedral to support families in poverty. They had the bright idea on making it into a parade of some sort – don't ask me, I know it sounded ridiculous –, I decided we could participate, you know, just to clean our image–"

Reborn snorted. "I wonder why."

"–anyway, the theme was pretty conservative, and my dear _Famiglia_ decided we'd go only if they could parade me as Apollo. I can't deny them, you see, they were pretty adamant about it, and–"

"Tsuna, stop rambling."

Tsuna rolled his eyes, not bothering to hide his fond amusement. "Where was I? Oh yeah, they were pretty adamant about it, and I told them that Mukuro would fit the role better–"

This time, Reborn didn't bother to hide the chocked laughter that followed that statement. _Tsuna_ thought _Mukuro_ would be better as a _deity?_ He's a demon in disguise! "You, of all people, know that Mukuro is _nothing_ like a deity. I will bet my monthly check that he came from deepest, darkest part of hell."

"– _hush,_ stop interrupting me, damn it. Do you want to hear the story or not?" Reborn couldn't hide the amused smirk on his face at Tsuna's bold reprimand. He raised his hand to signal Tsuna to continue.

" _Moving on,_ I lost the argument with literally everyone including Mukuro. Who would've thought? Certainly not me, I thought he'd want that, with his ego and all."

Reborn had to agree with that.

"So, they agreed to dress me as Apollo, paraded me around the street on a chariot, and raising fund at the same time. You could say my popularity has skyrocketed since then. I've become so popular people started calling me _Don Vongola_ even though they're civilians. They even gave me gifts every other day to thank me."

 _Oh, you have_ no _idea how popular you are, Tsuna. And it wasn't because the Parade, either._

"And I think the moniker kinda stuck to me ever since." Tsuna finished with a half-hearted shrug. Completely ignorant to the fact that, his Guardians might share the blame of his recent popularity.

"Why does everything amusing happens when I'm not here?" Reborn lamented.

"Ha ha, very funny, Reborn. You could've shared my misery by dressing up as Mors. It suits you." Tsuna smirked smugly.

It took Reborn a moment before he made the connection. Oh, _oh,_ the damn brat thought it was funny to compare him with the personification of death himself. "Say that again and I'd be sure to grace my presence to you." He warned with a dark tone.

Before he could tackle Tsuna, however, the brunet dove to the nearest window, threw it open, and jumping out of it with a hysterical laughter. "You have to catch me first!" Tsuna bellowed.

" _Oh,_ it's _on."_

Reborn belatedly realized Tsuna's misdirection attempt at ditching his paperwork worked after three hours into the chase.

Frankly, he didn't give a damn.

* * *

(Unsurprisingly, with the current condition the Family was in – as in everyone were eager to return to HQ, not to mention the amount of _friendly_ visitor that increased overtime, it was no wonder rumours spread like a wildfire in the Vongola ranks. They've heard the taunts and death threats thrown back and forward between their Boss and his tutor throughout the _chase_ , something about Mors trying to kidnap Tsuna.)

(If Tsuna gained his followers through adoration, Reborn managed to gain an unhealthy respect from the wrong sort of people.)

(It came to the point where Reborn's admirer almost rivaled Tsuna's, but instead of thoughtful gifts; he received death threats almost on daily basis.)

(Reborn lamented on the fact that everyone thought he was some sort of Tsundere that enjoys receiving death threats.)

(Tsuna fixed it by, once again, pretending to be Apollo. He wasn't even aware that this action has... consequences. It was because the act had only cemented the popular belief that he was god incarnate. Reborn face palmed. Somehow, the situation he was trying to stop wasn't working in his favour. And he was ashamed to admit that, yes, he had a hand in making the image of Tsuna into a Godling. No matter how hard he tried to deny it.)

* * *

 **AN** : You thought I was done, didn't you? But I wasn't! *evil cackles*

Seriously though, I didn't know how I could thank you guys enough, the amount of support for this story was amazing! I _love_ it!

Also, I put two reference from _Lord of The Rings_ and _Dexter_ in this chapter ;D I'm sure you guys could spot it.

Tell me what you think ok? (I know a lot of you wanted to see Reborn as a high-priest for Tsuna as the most devoted follower, but I thought it's fun to mess with Reborn. Again.)


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer:**_ Katekyo Hitman Reborn! and all of its character belong to _Amano Akira_. The author of this work claim no ownership over the characters and settings associated with _Katekyo Hitman Reborn!_ _._ The material found on through this work is not intended to infringe upon copyright, and the aforementioned titles are the sole legal property of their respective Copyright Holders.

* * *

"You know, this will be a lot easier if you agreed in the first place."

Reborn, for all of his famed self-control, almost gave into the temptation to strangle his companion.

They were following – _stalking_ – Tsuna in the city when their Boss has expressed – rather empatheticaly – that he would _not_ be cooped up in his office for much longer. No one could deny Tsuna when he pulled out the _hardworking-boss-who-slaved-everyday-while-his-subordinates-made-a-mess_ card. It was rather dirty for Tsuna to do that, but Reborn had suspected that he didn't give a damn when his freedom was once again threatened.

(Okay, so maybe Tsuna learnt that trick from _Reborn_ , but he wasn't supposed to use it on **him**!)

It made everything worse when Tsuna specifically said that he did _not_ want anyone escorting him. Not that Reborn couldn't blame him, with his rising popularity (in which Tsuna thought was perfectly normal occurrence for mafia Dons and Donnas.), a lot of people wanted a piece of him. It came to the point where Tsuna was barricaded with two layers of bodyguards (meat-shields as Mukuro loved to point out) every time he stepped one foot off of Vongola's property.

Just seeing it made _Reborn_ nuts. He – kind of, not that he'd admit it – sympathized his boss.

(But seeing him out in the open by himself was unnerving, to say at least.)

So here he was, the number one hitman in the world and Mammon the Esper... stalking Tsuna as he enjoyed socializing with the civillians.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I will not join your cult." Reborn deadpanned. Honestly, this talk about joining their organization was driving him mad. This wasn't the first time they'd approached him, and with each rejection, they've become determined to prove him that they're _good people._

(Let's not forget that they're mafioso with a side job as Cult practitioner with Tsuna as their unwilling God).

"You don't understand, now that _everyone_ knew of him as Saint Tsunayoshi–" Reborn almost chocked on his own saliva. "–some people might... steal him, if you know what I mean."

"Wait, what? I thought that was a confidential information that only the core members know?!" Reborn hissed lowly.

"Well, not really. I had a whole website dedicated _for_ him, remember?"

"I thought that was betting _rings."_

"That, and also gambling, fortune telling, or simply places where people could unleash their unhealthy obsession with Tsuna. It's actually quite useful."

Reborn let out a shuddering breath because, _shit_ , everything they do was downright _illegal._

 _Oh right,_ Reborn thought sarcastically. _We're mafia. Illegal is supposed to be normal._

(Reborn tried to ignore the curious part of his brain that wondered why Mammon's website was on the Dark Webs; it was now thoroughly pleased with that tidbits.)

"Okay, tell me what more you're doing, because if Tsuna found out about this _you all_ are not going to get out of it unharmed. You know this, right? For the love of _God_ please tell me you know what you're doing."

Mammon kept his calm as he airily informed the disgruntled hitman of their 'positive' activity. "That's true, but it was too convenient to be ignored. For the last eight months, we had avoided major confrontation with _three_ hostile Family. Do you think we were only using it for our own gain?" _It_ being Tsuna's weird accuracy on predicting the future. Mammon wisely ignored the part where the only one who asks anything about rival Family was Gokudera. Then again, that guy never seem to want anything other than Tsuna's safety.

Bless his soul.

"No, I suppose not. I thought it only works for something as mundane as sports?"

Mammon ignored the jab. Reborn surely was lacking his edge.

"That, and various other things as well. Such as which stock market is the most valuable-"

"-Wow, never knew you'd ask that."

"-and how much I should invest. Of course, everything _He_ said has happened."

Oh, wow. He could even hear the capitalized 'H' from that sentence alone.

Reborn rolled his eyes when Mammon practically purred as he sang Tsuna praises. "Your organization is a cult and you know it."

There was a beat, and Mammon turned to face him with the flattest expression he'd ever seen. "You know, we could make a religion out of this."

"Really, Mammon? Really? I thought you're as level headed as Verde! But I see now, all these prediction shit has corrupted you."

"Just imagine, centuries later, there'll be a church for Tsuna!" Mammon was positively beaming it almost hurt his eyes.

"You know that wouldn't happen, right? Vatican is _in_ side of Rome, we're practically neighbors!"

"Well, obviously we should pick another location for Saint Tsunayoshi's home-base then."

Reborn face palmed, they've even gave Tsuna a nickname... and Mammon wasn't even listening to him! "God have mercy on me..."

Mammon smirked. "One of these days you'll be praying to Tsuna instead."

"Shut up."

Mammon let his haughty smirk drop into the usual bland look and stepped out of the shadow. "Let's just follow Tsuna and see what he's up to. I don't want to lose him in this crowd."

That rare moment of sanity Mammon showed was enough to throw Reborn off kilter that he almost missed the retreating back of his elusive boss.

* * *

After Mammon's pathetic attempt at recruiting Reborn, it was safe to say that the Hitman was now positively on edge. Scratch that, he was downright _paranoid_.

Everywhere he went, one of Mammon's minion would try to convince him to join just because he's one of the 'most important' people on Tsuna's list.

(He doesn't actually know if there's a list for that, but they guessed Tsuna had different priorities when it came to his Family.)

(How would _they_ even know who's important for Tsuna and who's not? Who are these people who made such decisions?)

(Reborn then remembered that _Fuuta_ was also a member of Tsuna Cultist.)

It came to the point where he released a warning shot just inches away from Squalo's boots.

Suffice to say, no one has tried anything on him for the last couple of weeks. But it was _so_ much worse now that everyone in the Family never let him out of their sight.

Of course, if there's one thing positive about joining said Family, it was because Vongola Family was filled with people who were determined to finish the job.

Unfortunately, Reborn was the new focus for their self-imposed _job_.

"Reborn, what the hell are you doing?"

Reborn didn't even bother to acknowledge Tsuna when he ducked behind one of the couches facing the door.

"They're looking for me. Just shut up and let me hide." He hissed lowly, lips pressing into a thin line when he caught the amused smirk on Tsuna's face.

"Congratulations for the wise choice of hiding place, Reborn. I mean, _no one_ would think of looking in this place. It's not like my office is _totally_ barren of people barging in without notice for every ten minutes."

Damn, Tsuna must be in a good mood to be sassy at 8 in the morning.

Reborn kept his silence for only a good five minutes before the door to Tsuna's office swung open. And – by the sound of it – Dino was the one who was pursuing him today.

"Dino-san," Tsuna greeted warmly. "I haven't seen you for a while! Come in!"

Reborn cursed to himself. Tsuna was supposed to be his ally!

"Hey, little bro. You miss me?"

"Of _course,_ I do! You're my most favorite older brother, ever!"

Reborn had to be thankful for the fact that Dino didn't have an ounce of Tsuna's famous Hyper Intuition as he was completely swept with Tsuna's glorious charm and useless small talks.

Reborn taught him well. _Too_ well.

"Oh, and if you see Reborn, tell him I said 'hi' and want to see him ASAP!"

"I will! See you later, Dino-san!"

There was muffled clicks of expensive shoes as Dino stepped away from Tsuna's office.

"What was that about?"

Reborn cautiously emerged from the back of the couch, gun gripped tightly in his hand. He didn't even remember when he retrieved his trusty silver Glock. "I told you, they practically announce a manhunt on me."

"For _what?_ "

Reborn hesitated. To tell or not to tell, that was the question.

(It's not like he got anything to lose if he told Tsuna, right?)

"... They wanted me to join a cult."

Silence.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Reborn. And I've heard a _lot_."

Reborn huffed. "Well, maybe because it's _not_ you they've been stalking?"

"Oh, no no no. Don't you dare change the subject. I don't think Cults are supposed to be _that_ forward, and I thought they're supposed to be secret?"

Reborn smiled wryly. "Well, they are. Do you know that one of their core activities is to sneak into someone's bedroom in the middle of the night wearing hooded robes _and_ worshiping them while they were sleeping?" He didn't want to admit it out loud, but seeing the shiver that run through Tsuna's spine as he told him _that_ particular fun-fact was satisfying.

Well, at least Tsuna agreed with him that their activity was downright _illegal._

"Damn, that's downright creepy. Who the hell watches people _sleep?" Well, they do, Tsuna. You're actually the one I'm talking about. "_ And you're telling me that these cultist are trying to recruit you? Have you tried declining?"

Reborn groaned. "I did, Tsuna. I even gave a warning _shot_ ; with a real bullet! They haven't backed off."

Tsuna hummed contemplatively. "Who are the known members? I'll have a word with them."

* * *

(In the end, Tsuna did have a talk with Dino and Squalo. And by the looks of it, he scolded them hard to the point where people avoided Reborn like plague.)

(He was still trying to find out just _what_ Tsuna told them to have them back off that easily. But his boss never told him anything. Still, he was thankful with the brunet's interference. He didn't think he could take anymore roses on his doorstep anymore. Somehow, they got it over their head that Reborn was just some lonely maiden who only wanted _company_.)

(Reborn was granted a full month free of those Cultist stalker.)

(But, just like anything his boss eradicated, it came back rearing its ugly head viciously. With interest.)

(Now, the only place safe from them was – ironically – Tsuna's bedroom. And so, Reborn spent most of his night sleeping below Tsuna's king sized bed, thanking the gods that the bed-sheet was long enough to completely cover the space left between the bed-frame and floor.)

(No one found out where he hides after work time, even Tsuna. That was one of his skill. Being completely undetected.)

(If it wasn't creepy before, it was even more creepy now. Somehow, the size of the nightly visitor has increased two-fold from usual. Which was a frightening number considering Tsuna was just _laying there sleeping without a care;_ completely dead to the world with the only company of creepers who liked to talk to him in his sleep.)

(Reborn ended up – involuntarily – witnessing the cultist midnight activity on Tsuna's bedroom. He couldn't really do anything, like shooting them on the head one by one from his hiding place because; 1. He didn't plan on giving up his only safe heaven from them. 2. He didn't want to face two dozen skilled mafioso on his own in a very limited space. 3. He definitely didn't want Tsuna to be involved in his fight.)

(He might've been the world number one hitman, but the core member of Tsuna cultist has – at least – five former Arcobaleno, not counting the fact that _Jager and Bermuda_ were now a frequent nightly visitor to the daily meetings.)

(He's powerful, but even he was not insane enough to consider taking them all on his own.)

(God have mercy on him.)

* * *

 **AN:** This fanfic is really fun to write because I wasn't pressured to follow any _plot_. This is officially PWP; Parody Without Plot.

I really thank you guys for the amount of support and love you've shown for this piece of my muse. I definitely will only update whenever I felt like it. I kept it in "complete" tag so I won't feel the pressure that I have ongoing works lol. Also for the fact that these are just interconnected oneshots that I could stop updating any day (If I feel like I'm done, anyway).

Oh, shit. Now that I think about it, Reborn involuntarily became the Boogie-man because of his recent sleeping arrangements!

See ya, guys.

(I have half a mind to make a side story of this one to cross-over with Rise of The Guardians because of the whole worshipping thing. Don't mind me, probably just my plot bunny speaking.)


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I swear, this fic is getting out of hand. Oh, and the content of this fanfiction is **_NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY/SERIOUSLY._** Because I will be including... some... questionable content. So, if you're religious please back away slowly from this fic.

Shoutout to **Morgan13(Guest)** for guessing the last chapter's reference. THANK YOU, I could hug you rn. Yes, I was explicitly referring to the video "History of the world, I guess." Because that video is fucking brilliant and whomever made it deserve all the credits they got.

For those who hasn't watched it. GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

...

 ** _Disclaimer_** : _Katekyo Hitman Reborn!_ and all of its character belong to _Amano Akira_. The author of this work claim no ownership over the characters and settings associated with _Katekyo Hitman Reborn!_. The material found on through this work is not intended to infringe upon copyright, and the aforementioned titles are the sole legal property of their respective Copyright Holders.

...

Reborn should've known that, after spending weeks running away from _batshit crazy_ (because, who the hell uses throwing knives to _stop_ people from running away? Better yet, who wouldn't run away the moment the knives went flying?) cultist practitioner, beeing sleep deprived (honestly, the floor below Tsuna's bed wasn't as comfy as he initially thought) should be the least of his concern.

But then, he remembered Verde saying something about more successful REM if the person was too tired to fight off sleep – or wake up in the middle of the night –, and thus; avoiding sleep paralysis.

(Reborn might be or might not be eavesdropping them when they were planning on drugging Tsuna to sleep. Nope.)

Back to the topic of sleeping, where was he? Oh yeah, sleep paralysis. Unfortunately, his sleep deprivation hasn't gone as far as him getting the awful paralization. But what he got was close enough.

Reborn might have or might not have reocurring nightmares regarding of a huge plate of flying spaghetti with the shape of UFO and three eyed meatball monster with _soba_ tentacles.

He had a theory that it was the product of Vongola's madness; an unfortunate mental illness that will affect the sane portion of the Famiglia.

(Reborn noted with no small amount of jealousy that Tsuna wasn't affected by whatever shit was happening to his own goddamn Famiglia.)

But, just for today, he will ignore the mentally challenged mafioso from bothering him.

Because Tsuna just conducted a Family-wide meeting on the west wing, everyone from every rank was expected to attend.

And it meant Reborn's presence was mandatory _or else_ –

("I swear to the _Draugadróttinn_ , Reborn, if you don't show up you can kiss your hidden stash goodbye!" Tsuna had glowered at him like a cornered animal, clutching a sack full of coffee beans in a headlock, with a gun pointed on said stack. Reborn had the right to be concerned– he couldn't fathom how Tsuna had found hidden stash, or the fact that his student had just threatened to shoot a _sack of fucking coffee beans_ as if it's a living person. Reborn was visibly appaled. Tsuna might be... not as sane as he had expected, maybe it's just a product of stressful mettings; or maybe it's just paperwork.

To preserve his wavering sanity, Reborn yielded, and solemnly swear that he will attend the meeting.)

So here he was, sitting on Tsuna's left at the high table; looking down on their mortal subjects–(Mammon was rubbing off on him) with boredom.

He couldn't bring himself to concentrate when most of them were arguing on the best way to guard the perimeter, since it was none of his concern. Come to think of it, none of this was his concern! He was, at best, a contracted assassin whom only business was to watch over Tsuna! Why did Tsuna wanted him to be there, anyway? He was outside of the Vongola hierarchy, so – he shouldn't have been here in the first place!

(Reborn later begrudgingly admitted that he had fallen asleep in the middle of the meeting. Not that anyone noticed.)

(What? Have you forgotten that he sleeps with his eyes opened?)

...

"I swear, every time there's a celebration about anything, for some unspeakable reasons; our security will let a few strays in."

Reborn was silent as Tsuna sipped on the bottle of vodka grumpily.

"I mean, look at last Christmas! Someone managed to smuggle _three fucking tonnes_ of dynamites. And it wasn't Gokudera." Tsuna gestured with both hands in a wide arc, completely ignoring the leaking liquor from the bottle as he complained about his subordinates. "And the best part of it was, they disguised it as sausages. _Sausages_! You'd think any experienced mafioso would recognize it, but _nooooo_!" He whined dramatically, completely forgetting the company he was in. "If it wasn't for Yamamoto, this whole building could be levelled down." He took a large gulp from the remaining drink. "I mean, I can already see the headlines! ' _Vongola's Headquarters Levelled With Explosive Sausages_ '."

Huh, it seems like they needed new training, but until then; Reborn main priority was 'protecting' Tsuna.

"Are you saying it would happen again? I mean, Chinese newyear is after Valentine, right?" Tsuna nodded slowly.

"I can see the crystallized fleshlights already." Tsuna mumbled, his eyes unfocused and distant.

Reborn straightened up, sensing another story coming. Honestly, he hadn't been lying when he said he was jealous of all of amusing event that happened while he was gone. "What do you mean? 'Crystallized fleshlights'? Is that a term for something I had no idea of?"

"It's what it is. Someone sent me that on my birthday. I don't actually open it, of course, I mean, that's what the sorting department is for, right?" Reborn nodded absently, and Tsuna continued. "I know you've been telling me to 'get a wife, already', but, like I said, Family first. Personal needs second." His words has gotten thicker by the minute, and the occasional giggles that escaped him was a testament on how far gone his Boss is. "But, I think my fans took that as a sign? You can't believe how much men and women were crowding on the north enterance claiming to be my lover."

Tsuna went quiet, and hummed a tuneless tone; too quiet for him to hear.

"Tsuna? Are you still there?"

His body went slack, and if it wasn't for Reborn's quick reflex, Tsuna would've face planted the floor.

Reborn sighed. Just when he got into the interesting part, too.

Well, can't be helped now that Tsuna had passed out.

Reborn manouvered his body so that Tsuna's head would rest on his chest as Reborn carried him to his bedroom.

Come to think of it, there was no suspicious activity by Tsuna's follower... he wonders what they're up to.

(Reborn shrugged; leave tomorrow's problem to tomorrow's me. He thought.)

...

(Now that he think about it, the mansion was suspiciously bare after the meeting. Reborn had a bad feeling about this.)

(There was no one on Tsuna's room, either. Which raises a few warning bells on his head.)

(Reborn decided that he'd see the situation before acting. And thus, took his 'watch post' below Tsuna's bed.)

(Halfway past one in the morning, there was still no sign of Tsuna cultist, and Reborn deemed it safe that he could sleep on actual bed for once.)

(As soon as he hit the soft matress of his bed, Reborn was out like a light. He would later regret his decision of returning into his room, because at the crack of dawn, he was startled awake as a bag of equipment was thrown on his bed. Reborn blankly stared at the frowning figure in his room; Collonello was wearing a full tactical gear, Gokudera had his System C.I.A– and _is that rocket launcher on his back_?)

("What the hell are you guys preparing for?" He had asked, only to be answered by solemn

Collonello, and a one word that would make even the Vongola veterans cower.)

("War." He said.)

(Reborn donned his personalized tactical gear without a question. He prepared himself for any hostile Family attack, he mentally prepared himself for limbs he had to sever, he mentally apologized to Tsuna.)

(Reborn was ready.)

...

(Unfortunately, no one told him that the enemy he'd prepare 'war' for was a bunch of Tsuna crazed cultist, armed with chocolaty convection on their arm and horrid display of pinks.)

(Physically, Reborn was fine. Mentally thought? He would never see chocolate the same way again. His mind was too scarred by that earlier display.)

...

I wrote this on my phone so I'm sorry for the lack of formatting/line breaks/typos. Once I got my wifi I would edit it. If I make a mistake in this chapter please kindly tell me so I can fix it! Thanks!

 **AN** : Sorry guys, I know it wasn't much, but... yeah, I updated. I always reread every one of your reviews, even though I don't reply... I'm sorry, but just take the continuous update as gift instead? I am happy that I made you guys happy by reading this story c:

I have a question, though, would you guys be interested if I wrote interludes for this? The content would be the History of the cult's formation, who found out first, etc etc. Would you guys want that or should I carry on like I normally do and just write whatever absurbdities that I could think of?

See you guys later! Happy (belated) Valentine and Happy Chinese newyear! (It's already 16th here xd)


	5. Interlude: Extra 1

**Summary:** Reborn should have known that, on top of being able to _predict_ phropecy while sleeping, Tsuna's power will grew stronger – and more dangerous – as times goes on. He just didn't know that it would turn like this. (In which Vongola – and it's cultist – wasn't the only one who wanted Tsuna).

 **Disclaimer:** Katekyou Hitman Reborn! And all its characters belong to Amano Akira.

 **AN:** This was originally going to be the second chapter, but, I scrapped it. I made him sleep _walk._ I was thinking, "Hey, he sleep-talks, what harm does it do when he sleep _walks?"_ So yeah, take this as extra lol

* * *

It started one night, when Reborn found Tsuna walking aimlessly in the kitchen taking out pots and pan from its place that he realized something had been horribly wrong.

Tsuna's movement was sluggish, and there was a distinct lag on his movement that indicate Reborn that Tsuna wasn't completely there. However, as if moving from muscle memory, Tsuna began to snuffle through the fridge to take out a carton of milk and other ingredients necessary to make pancakes that Reborn choose not to interfere.

But, not wanting to left Tsuna alone with hazardous kitchen utensils, Reborn took a plastic chair and quietly sit on the other side of the kitchen counter.

(No, he wasn't getting soft, he just wanted to make sure Tsuna didn't accidentally stab himself.)

For now, he would observe and learn.

Tsuna's face were completely relaxed, with his eyes half-lidded and blank, and if Reborn didn't find that unnerving– Tsuna's mutterings, did.

"... Lambo... do you want yours... with strawberry?" Then, without waiting for reply, Tsuna dumped an unmeasured amount of flour onto the mixing bowl. He missed a few inches, and the white powder spilled everywhere, but Tsuna did not seem to notice.

Tsuna absentmindedly picked up an egg, and, as if in confusion, stared at it.

Reborn could see Tsuna's shoulder tensing- and without a warning, hurled the egg with unrestrained strength with a shout of "Fire in a hole!". Reborn ducked out of the way, missing the egg by mere inches as it zoomed into the wall behind him, and exploding with its ungodly smell of raw egg.

God, he should have known Tsuna's aim wasn't _bad_. If he hadn't moved out of the way it would have hit him straight on his face.

"What the fuck, Tsuna?"

But Tsuna was now pouring milk into the mixing bowl as if he hadn't thrown an egg with the intention to kill him.

(Granted, he knew Tsuna was asleep but, really? "Fire in a hole"? Did he think the egg was a grenade?)

(Reborn face-palmed, of course! Didn't he just say Lambo earlier?)

"... Byakuran... don't bring Yuni... into this..."

Reborn raised his eyebrow. _What?_

"... Can't you see... that she's... sick?"

 _Yuni is sick?_

He's heard of the rumour, hell, confirmed it, even. But Reborn was never present when the other cultist were doing the... prophetic session, thus, wasn't the one who directed all the questions to Tsuna.

Deciding to test his luck, Reborn decided to ask his own question. "Tsuna, when will a major attack on Vongola occur?"

No replies. Tsuna was still mixing the flour and milk slowly with a batter, then-

"Fifty seven days, starting today."

Huh, at least he's coherent when it comes to his prophecies.

"From which Famiglia?"

Pause. "... Lei-Lei Brothers... Chinese Triad."

Okay, that's awfully specific, but-

"Why would they attack us?"

Tsuna stopped mixing the mixture, and stared unwavering at Reborn with a half-lidded gaze.

(If Reborn was honest with himself, he could see a hint of orange behind that lids)

"They wanted something from the Vongola... something precious..."

After living more than ten years on the same roof with Tsuna, Reborn could safely say that he should have seen it coming.

* * *

 **57 Days Later.**

* * *

Chaos was the only word that was able to describe the current situation in the Vongola Manor.

Reborn would agree that later on, you should _always_ ask the specific when Tsuna was muttering his prophecies. Granted, he didn't know how Mammon did it, or how Tsuna's cultist's upper echelon did it, but he should have asked them _first._

Apparently, according to Gokudera, Tsuna's gift did _not_ include himself in the equation, and whenever they would ask something that directly ties with him, Tsuna would never answer their inquiries.

Verde had theorized that, since Hyper Intuition worked solely for Tsuna when he was awake, it would focus its attention on Tsuna and then the Famiglia as extension.

And, as if the switch was flipped, when Tsuna was _not_ awake (nor coherent enough for proper conversation), the focus of his Intuition would be divided everywhere else excluding Tsuna.

Which was why, when their back was turned. Tsuna was nowhere to be found.

He was taken.

And Reborn didn't need prophecies to know that sooner or later, the Lei-Lei Brothers will be no more.


	6. Exclusively For Those with Foot Fetish

When Tsuna was eighteen, he was officially introduced to the allied family as the Tenth Boss of Vongola _Famiglia._ By that time, he had reached the level of a trained soldier that anything, no matter how small it is, shouldn't let him lose his composure.

Reborn, having been his mentor for more than five years, and advisor until he's twenty five, has helped him through thick and thin (though, most of the time it was Reborn whom orchestrated it, the Devil). And so, Tsuna has no reason to be afraid of... too many things.

There's time where he lost his cool, however. When Lambo was kidnapped, for instance. He'd raged like he never did and flew as fast as the sound barrier allowed him towards the enemy base.

By the time the reinforcement arrived, Tsuna was hugging the teary Lambo into a protective embrace, levelled building and charred remains as the only witness to the horrific day.

(Lambo never let anyone besides Tsuna and Shamal to listen to the debriefing.)

That was the time people knew to never take the kind Sky for granted, because beneath that kindness was a ferocity of an enraged beast waiting to be awoken.

...

Tsuna, however, is still very much human.

(Albeit an overpowered one, if you want to be technical)

He's inherited his father's disdain of having to wake up earlier than six in the morning, he hates it when they put too much syrup on his pancakes -- resulting in a soggy and questionable flappy pancakes that reminds him of human innards --, he especially _hated_ being underestimated.

Although, lately nothing seemed to piss him off. His subordinates has reached the satisfactory quality (which he has no clue how they could improve in such little time) where the Family doesn't have to spend more money than they allowed to, in fact, their provit has increased twenty five percent! He cried tears of joy and declared Family wide party in a fortnight.

(Tsuna missed their smug smirk as he walk past them, or the satisfied back patting they seemed to do lately)

They also started letting him sleep until nine in the morning, which was a miracle.

(That might be because Reborn was away for his assignment)

And so, Tsuna woke up from the most satisfied sleep he's had in the last few weeks. He stretched his limbs until he heard the pop of his joints, and, with a flourish of a sleepy kitten, threw the cover off himself with unnecessary force.

He looked at the wall-mounted clock above the door, noticing it to be a quarter past eight, and muttered; "I shall raise their wage by five percent this month."

Tsuna moved to the edge of his bed, and attempted to stand.

However, the pleasant morning was abruptly cut off as he felt soft yet cold... limb. Below his foot. He's stepped on a cold limb.

Tsuna is now wide awake, and slowly, he lowered his gaze to the floor.

There, below his bed, was a foot. A cold and unmoving foot.

The shrill shriek that could be heard throughout the mansion alerted everyone to Tsuna's awakening.

 _Line Break_

Reborn woke to the sound of someone screaming like a banshee.

 _Great,_ he thinks, mourning over the lost sleep time he was ever granted below Tsuna's bed.

And before he could reprimand the offender, his foot was encased in a tight grip. His eyes widened as whomever was holding his ankle uncrenemously dragged him from his safe heaven.

"Why in the hell are you guys so noisy?" Reborn grumbled once he was extracted from his hiding place, dangling upside down as he stared at Tsuna's bewildered face.

He yawned, covering his mouth with his fist as he processed what the hell just happened.

"Reborn?"

Tsuna stopped hiccuping, and began moving to investigate the sleepy hitman. "You're not dead?"

"I'm talking, am I not?"

"But your foot was so cold I thought I was stepping on a dead body!"

"Well, I don't have any blanket with me."

"Then you should've slept on your room!"

Reborn stared at the man holding him, and almost sighed when Xanxus eyebrow shot up in challenge.

"Xanxus, can you put me down? I feel my blood rushing to my head and-- no, Tsuna I didn't hear what you just said."

Xanxus released his hold without any ceremony, and Reborn could've sworn he saw sadistic mirth reflected in the pools of blood red eyes.

 _Hmph, so he's the bodyguard for today, huh._ Reborn caught himself in a hand stand, dramatically twisting his body a hundred eighty degree before landing on his feet.

Xanxus was no longer looking at him.

"I said, why are you sleeping in my room? Below my bed, no less! I know we used to sleep in the same room, but this doesn't explain why you decided to sneak into my room! What about my privacy?!"

Tsuna ranted on and on further on his privacy, vowing to deadbolts even his vents to hinder Reborn (ha!) from entering. Reborn gave Xanxus a side glance, eyebrow raised as if to say "You and your cult is breaching Tsuna's privacy."

"I've been telling you; these cultists are _really persistent."_

Xanxus scoffed, folding his hands on his chest as if condemning Reborn's accusation.

"And you decided to hide below my bed?!"

Xanxus snorted, and Reborn glared harshly at the cultist in hiding.

"Can't be helped, yours is the safest place in the whole mansion."

Tsuna stopped the barrage of rant he was about to unleash, and his eyes flashed orange.

"Enough, this is getting out of hand. Gather everyone you know who's in this so called cult. I need to speak with them."

Reborn smirked as if he'd won the lottery. "You heard the man, c'mon Xanxus, let your _friends_ know they're summoned."

Tsuna's head turned around so fast Reborn was afraid he'd get a whiplash. " _You're one, too?!"_

 _Line Breaaaak_

 _AN: That's it for today's omake, guys. I promised my dear friend **Arrysa** (she writes in KHR fandom too! Go check it out!) That I would upload something on my birthday for you guys. This and another three of my fanfic were supposed to be updated back in 5th of May but I got no time as I started to get swamped with work._

*sees the stats number* who are you people and where did you come from?!

(Thank you so much again for the support and love you have shoen me by reading, reviewing, following, amd favoriting! I know I didn't reply to some reviewer, but just know I love you all the same!)


	7. Chapter 7

**_New pinned post by Xanxus._**

* * *

 _ **Xanxus** : "You trash might want to sit down for what I'm about to tell you."_

 _ **Xanxus** : "It's not pretty."_

* * *

It all started with a single message.

* * *

 _ **Sharknado** : "Just tell us already, you shithead."_

 _ **Xanxus** : "This is all your fault. We're facing a potential nuclear warhead and you're there sitting chill like a fucking pickle."_

 _ **Sho-chan:** "I'm sorry to be that guy but; *cucumber."_

 _ **Sharknado** : "Fuck's you on about? I did nothing!"_

 _ **Xanxus** : "The Tenth has summoned all you trash to the fucking mansion."_

 _ **Gokkun** , **Takechi** , **Sho-chan** is typing..._

* * *

Before long, the message Xanxus left has spread amongst the Vongola Family. Most of whom were buzzing with nervous energy, already feeling the noose being tighter around their neck by the implication in Xanxus' announcement.

Either the Tenth has already smelt their _"operation"_ , or he was displeased about something.

Both options upsets the majority of their ranks, since no one, not even the most hardened mafioso, wanted to be on the receiving end of Tsuna's ire.

* * *

 _ **Xanxus: "** And to think he was about to raise our wage, too. You shitheads are too obvious in recruiting Reborn."_

 _ **Sho-chan: "** Fuck. Reborn snitched?"_

 _ **Xanxus:** "I'm sure the Boss figured it out on his own. He has the strongest Intuition for fuck's sake!"_

 _ **Byakuran:** "Sure, so strong it transcended through time and space and inter-dimensional galaxies and I'm sure through other parallel universe, too."_

 _ **Gokkun:** "Someone please mute Byakuran. Where's the mods when you need them _**Sho-chan.** _"_

 _ **Vulcan:** "_ **Xanxus** _Weren't you the last person in Tsuna's presence."_

* * *

There was silence on the chat that only lasted ten second before the thread was bombarded with rapid fire messages.

* * *

 _ **Gokkun** , **Sho-chan** , **Jaeger** , and 20 others are typing..._

 _ **Xanxus** : "Are you insinuating that I'm at fault, trash?"_

 _ **Vulcan** : "You're the one who said it, not me."_

 _ **Xanxus** : "You ungrateful motherfucker. I was the one who found where the hell the Hitman was hiding for the last couple of months and this is how you repay me?"_

 _ **Sharknado:** "Fuck you _**Vulcan** _."_

* * *

 _Only Admins and moderators are allowed to reply to this chat._

 _ **Sho-chan:** "Since everyone's spamming,_ _I granted temporary moderator privileges to_ **Xanxus** _since he has something important to tell you."_

 _ **Sho-chan** : "Go ahead _**Xanxus** _."_

 _ **Xanxus** : "Found where Reborn slept while I was __guarding_ **Don V** _, asked him why he was sleeping below_ **Don V** _'s bed, he found out we're trying to recruit Reborn,_ **Don V** _went into_ **Da Capo** _and ordered me to gather everyone involved."_

 _ **Sho-chan** : "... I will leave half of my inheritance to _**Rank-Prince.** _"_

 _ **Byakuran** : "Can you leave half of it to me, _**Sho-chan.** _"_

 _ **Sho-chan** : "... Byakuran you're not an Admin."_

 _ **Byakuran** : "I remember the master password for your password manager."_

 _ **Sho-chan** : "Fuck you. I'm banning you."_

* * *

Was this what people say as _karma?_

Xanxus typed furiously on his phone as it continues to vibrate with every private message sent to him.

"Xanxus? What's wrong?"

Why, oh why was he always surrounded by _idiots_? First, Mammon for even suggesting him, the leader of Varia, to stick around Tsunayoshi because no one trusted Reborn enough with his wavering sanity. Secondly, the boot-lickers. They who bend easily on Tsuna's whim, like leaving him unprotected in the middle of damn Sicily's ghettos. Those who agreed on what ever the damn Capo said. Those who made it harder to maintain relations in south because of how much Xanxus had to dispose because they were _too close_ -

And thirdly!

Reborn for being a genius motherfucker.

Already he could see Tsuna stare at them in abject horror as he realized that they - like a bunch of fucking creeps - continuously sneak in and out of his bedroom every night, giving him little to no privacy and treating his bedroom as if it's the throne to some mighty King.

He could see the flash of orange in Tsuna's eyes as he pinned them all with what Gokudera dubbed as _Vongola Primo's Disappointment._ A look so heavy they'd begin groveling on his feet and ask for forgiveness to something they _didn't_ even do.

Some said strength doesn't rely on muscles. Or the amount of explosions one could do. Or the body count.

But Sawada Tsunayoshi? His strength lies on his whims. Whatever he said, just like the insistent snapping of fingers he's ignored for five minutes, is done with no hesitation.

He could imagine Tsuna disappear, out of reach- out of sight, no doubt something he learnt from his dad - the Art of Disappearing Undetected.

And this was all Reborn's fault.

The structured organization they built in the past year? Gone with the flames.

He could no longer ignore the snap of fingers as he mulled over different assassination techniques to try on Reborn. No matter how far fetched the idea seemed to be, he ought to try it.

And if it lands him to Vindicare? He could escape, Bermuda would surely side with him, and would let him go hush-hush. The power of inside man was another strength one should _not_ underestimate.

 _"What."_

He bit out, can't they see the internal dilemma raging over his mind?

"Xanxus, you've been standing there for an hour."

Secretly, Xanxus was glad he wasn't the kind of person who blush in any normal circumstances, and the fact that the baby Capo even shown him an ounce of concern at his state of mind proved how much he cared about them.

Even if they were once enemies.

"Idiots bothering me with their yammering."

There was a low chuckle, and Xanxus ignored how it reassures him that Tsuna wasn't in such of a bad mood anymore. Considering he just called Cult wide meeting courtesy of goddamn Reborn. Sure, Tsuna chewed him out earlier, but his anger evaporated as soon as Xanxus promised he'd tell his cult-mates to fuck off.

"Yes, I can see that. But what do you need, Xanxus? You don't usually come to my office this early in the morning."

Xanxus would've smashed his phone if it's not the fact that he's standing in Tsuna's office.

It's considered a blasphemy to destroy things in front of Tsuna himself, so- he held himself back.

"It's not possible to summon everyone involved by tomorrow."

He received a thoughtful hum. Tsuna didn't even look up from his paperwork. "And why not? We have to settle this quickly. I don't want to sleep being aware of Reborn below my bed."

Xanxus snorted. Sometimes he wondered if Nana had more than her genetic influence on his son, it seemed that he got some of her obliviousness, too.

"If you want to cripple our economy, be my guest. Having everyone pulled out of their post just to tell them to fuck off is considered bad business practice."

Tsuna stopped reading his paperwork and stared incredulously at him. "Surely you don't have that much member in your little cult."

Ha! Little. Wait 'til Tsuna sees the numbers.

"Don't make it into a habit to underestimate numbers, Trash."

There was a calculative look that disappeared too quickly for his liking. "All right, how about core members?"

This time, Xanxus didn't even bother trying to hide the feral grin that split on his face. "Done."

* * *

"I have a feeling that I should be surprised, but somehow I kind of expected it to turn out like this." Tsuna sighed, staring at the cloaked figures currently sitting at The Round Table with disappointment.

* * *

Tsuna, flanked by Xanxus like some ominous grim reaper, carefully made His way toward the only unoccupied chair at the head table on the meeting room.

Gokudera shrunk on his chair, his attempt at hiding himself from Tsuna garnered sympathetic grimace from his fellow cult leader.

"I would like to say that I'm not impressed by your antics for the past month," Tsuna began as he made himself comfortable. His eyes shone, and he stared them with meaningful orange eyes. "Congratulations. Expect punishment by the end of the week. All of you."

They knew Tsuna won't physically hurt them, no, but just hearing him say " _punishment"_ was too much for Gokudera, who paled dramatically then passed out.

"At least Hayato knows what he's in for." Tsuna chuckled quietly, which they find disturbing. Since, you know, Tsuna was too nice to even think about the idea of punishing them to be amusing.

The gathered cultist stared at Tsuna with suspicion, either their Saint Tsunayoshi was joking, or the man currently sitting at the head table was an imposter.

Either way, the new knowledge that their dear tenth would even punish them was a tad disturbing.

Maybe Reborn's influence was more prominent than they'd ever dare to imagine.

* * *

"What would you even do to punish them, Tsuna?"

Tsuna smiled indulgently at Reborn's curiosity. "You'll see soon enough."

"Do I have to prepare medical care?"

He shook his head. "Nah, don't worry. It's nothing _extreme."_

"Sometimes you genuinely worry me, Tsuna."

The tenth smiled. "I did learn from the best, after all."


End file.
